There was a point in my life where exam stress could have killed me. But it didn’t and I survived the battle. Reminiscing the moment I stood outside the viva-voce room on the last day of my Masters final exam, I was reminded of how terrified I felt inside. I pulled an outer strong face because I knew I just had to pass. But I guess it still showed, because one of the coordinators said “The examiners better call this candidate now, her face already turned pale and vanishing and only her red lips are seen”. Did I really turn cyanosis?? I managed to put on my red lipstick that morning because someone told me that will increase your confidence level. *lies* *cries* Well, it didn’t and I still felt like crap. (I still love my red lipstick though)
So to cut the story short, immediately after it was announced that I passed my Master final exam with flying colours, I went completely blacked out. People were congratulating me and I stood there feeling numb and blanked for no reason. Actually, there was a plenty of reason and I’m sure it could possibly be because I had fragmented sleep for nearly 2 weeks and I dosed up on caffeine like every 2-3 hours.
Like every other people who experience PTSD (that’s Post Traumatic Stress Disorder I’M TELLING YOU), the aftermath is no joke. But with every hardship there comes ease, like there is a silver lining in every cloud… And suddenly here comes the better days where I don’t have to swallow books and sleep on my notes anymore. I still have to update my knowledge once a while (learning process is a never ending process my teachers already warned me… pftGgr#%!!) but at least I can do it at my own timing and with a lot less pressure.
So what’s next?
Here’s my plan:
- Start a family
- Write a blog about fashion, travel, style, beauty, food and everything that is NOT medical and NON academics.
May the odds be in my favour… Ameen. Xoxo.